Tag: Feminism

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Why Isn’t UTAS Doing More: What the Recent Reporting On Campus Sexual Violence Tells Us

CW: discusses sexual violence

Please note that this piece was written for feature in Edition 2 of Togatus, released earlier this year. Interestingly, certain information—and public access to certain information—has been subject to change since the time of writing.

Another year passes by and yet another report is released on campus sexual violence. Each report is damning, and each report calls for change. When is it time, as students, to demand action be taken against the inexcusably high rates of sexual violence on-campus?

According to the National Student Safety Survey (NSSS) released last year, 275 students are sexually assaulted in a university setting each week in Australia. This equates to 14,000 sexual assaults occurring in a university setting each year. The issue of sexual assault on-campus has been widely addressed in recent history with actions following the Australian Human Rights Commission’s Change the Course report. This report was released in 2017 and addressed sexual assault and harassment at Australian universities. The release of this report resulted in actionable responses from universities Australia-wide. 

In 2018, we saw our own university (UTAS) directly respond to this report through an overhaul of its sexual assault and harassment policies. Some of these actions included an independent, expert-led review of existing policies and response pathways regarding sexual assault and harassment. What seemed like the beginning of a nationwide change for universities now feels like a forgotten era. 

So, What Exactly is UTAS Doing Now?

The short answer: very little. 

There has been a clear breakdown of all policy and operational actions to combat on-campus sexual violence that was implemented in 2017. The following year, UTAS declared an ongoing commitment to end sexual violence in response to the Change the Course report. Presently, UTAS has no up-to-date resources regarding sexual violence on-campus that are publicly accessible. The university-run webpage for these resources has not been observably updated since 2022. Moreover, UTAS no longer has any independent action plans or groups surrounding sexual violence. 

UTAS’s lack of observable action on sexual violence can be linked to the dissolution of the SASH (Sexual Assault and Sexual Harassment) Independent Oversight Committee. This committee was set up by UTAS to oversee the implementation of all recommendations made regarding the Change the Course report. The SASH Independent Oversight Committee was dissolved in 2020, as the goals set in their initial action plan were achieved. 

Some of these items included: creating effective communication strategies to inform students regarding sexually violent acts; developing and creating new training modules for staff and students surrounding sexual violence; and researching other Australian universities’ security measures surrounding sexual violence. However, many of these goals require ongoing attention to functionally serve the student population.

UTAS has since replaced the SASH Independent Oversight Committee with the SaFCU (Safe and Fair Communities Unit) Governance Group. Unlike the publicly available SASH Independent Oversight Committee’s action plan, there is a lack of transparency regarding what the SaFCU Governance Group intends to address. Additionally, the SaFCU Governance Group contains only internal UTAS staff members and is therefore not an independent body from the university. 

While the Governance Group claims to be active, meeting quarterly, they do not report any data publicly. The only exception to this is a single-page document published in 2021. In this document, the SaFCU Governance Group claimed to be committed to the ongoing reporting of deidentified statistics regarding sexual violence at UTAS. The intent of this commitment was to create greater transparency between the public and the Governance Group. There has been no continuation of this commitment. 

Not only has UTAS’s SaFCU Governance Group failed to continue reporting deidentified statistics, but the only data reported (in 2021) is questionable. This data suggests that only 19 individuals reported experiencing sexual harassment on-campus in 2021. This does not align with NSSS’s statistic that 8.1 per cent of students experience sexual harassment in a university setting per year. The data provided by SaFCU Governance Group suggests that roughly, less than 0.1 per cent of UTAS students reported experiencing sexual harassment at university in 2021. Data regarding reported incidents of sexual assault in 2021 also reflects the same discrepancy (only 17 individual reports). Thus, it is fair to assume that students of UTAS are less inclined to report experiencing sexual violence than the average university student (as indicated by NSSS). Could the low levels of reporting be an indication of ineffective or inaccessible reporting procedures? 

There has been very little observable acknowledgment of the low level of reports from students regarding sexual violence by UTAS since this data was released. As there has been no further public reporting of deidentified data, there is no way of knowing—as students or members of the general public—whether this issue has prevailed, let alone whether this issue is being investigated. 

Since the dissolution of the SASH Independent Oversight Committee, there has been no independent governing body to ensure the sexual safety and support of UTAS students. Subsequently, there has been a lack of continued prioritisation of student sexual safety made by UTAS, leading to students under-reporting sexual harassment and sexual assault on-campus. A solution lies within the development of an ongoing independent body dedicated specifically to issues surrounding sexual violence at UTAS. While there is current federal discourse surrounding the development of a national independent body of this kind, it is unacceptable for the safety of UTAS students to be sacrificed in the interim.

Support & Resources

Sexual Assault Support Service (SASS) is a Hobart-based, free and confidential service in Tasmania for people of all ages who have been affected by any form of sexual violence.

Website: https://www.sass.org.au/ 

24/7 Crisis Support Line: 1800 697 877

Laurel House is a not-for-profit, community-based sexual assault support service that operates across the North, North-East and North-West Tasmania. 

Website: https://laurelhouse.org.au/

24/7 Crisis Support Line: 1800 697 877

SaFCU

Website: www.utas.edu.au/about/safety-security-and-wellbeing/safe-and-fair-community-unit 

Phone: +61 3 6226 2560

Statement from SaFCU

There will never be a time when we have done enough to combat sexual assault and sexual harassment at the University.

The University has a strong position of zero tolerance for sexual assault or sexual harassment of any kind.

We have acted. Our efforts to make our community and our campuses as safe as possible have been sustained.

Over the past five years, we have implemented every recommendation from the national Change the Course report and the independent, expert review of our own approach that followed. 

Among a range of steps, we increased counselling, developed staff and student training, which we are updating following student feedback, implemented a new policy framework, and established the Safe and Fair Community Unit (SaFCU).

SaFCU is an experienced team, skilled at investigations with an absolute commitment to victim-centred, trauma-informed management of disclosures and complaints. They remain in constant discussions with external specialists and counterparts across the sector.

Following the release of the National Student Safety Survey results last year, a series of focus groups with students informed our ongoing efforts. 

However, inherent in our position of zero-tolerance is the fact that a single incident is one too many. 

In the coming months we will engage an independent expert to do a stocktake and audit of our governance, processes and procedures in responding to sexual assault and sexual harassment. This work will inform what we do next. 

We can always do more. It is right that you expect concerted action from us. It is a credit to students and Togatus that you are making those expectations clear.

– Professor Ian Anderson, Deputy Vice-Chancellor (Academic)

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Literature’s Hungry Women: How Contemporary Fiction Mirrors the Body Positivity Movement

In the past five or so years, the body positivity movement has taken social media by storm. A quick search on Instagram of #bodypositive returns over 18 million results, featuring predominantly women—of all shapes and sizes—celebrating their bodies and encouraging others to do so too. The movement builds upon the work of fat activists, an area of activism that seeks to encourage fat acceptance and put an end to fatphobia—the social stigmas and prejudices associated with living in a fat body. This includes the reclamation of the word fat itself; viewing the word as a descriptor, instead of a derogatory term. 

 The body positivity movement seeks to uplift all bodies, not just those who fit conventional beauty standards. While people of any gender can be involved, the movement is mostly comprised of women. Historically, it has been women who have been overwhelmingly pressured to keep their bodies acceptably thin, often leading to unhealthy dieting and fractured relationships with food. Writing of her own experience, fat studies scholar Hannele Harjunen says, “it is considered especially undesirable to be a fat girl or woman”; it makes sense, then, that the body positivity movement has resonated with so many women.  

Reflecting this social movement, the past five years have seen a wave of contemporary fiction concerned with women and food; or, more accurately, hungry women who are not afraid to indulge their hunger. This representation is important, as power acts through language; it is through language, discourse and representation that we are able to wield power, and enact social change. 

Historically, women’s hunger has been misrepresented in, or absent from, fiction and media. Feminist philosopher Susan Bordo argues that “when women are positively depicted as sensuously voracious about food (almost never in commercials, and only very rarely in movies and novels), their hunger for food is employed solely as a metaphor for their sexual appetite.” The body positivity movement, it seems, is changing this—we are now seeing women who indulge purely because they want to. Hunger is no longer something to be hidden, nor a metaphor for sexual appetite.

Supper Club by Lara Williams (Penguin Random House)

Lara Williams’ 2019 novel Supper Club centres around a group of women who create a club in which they can indulge their hunger, act wildly and take up space. The novel follows best friends Roberta and Stevie, the creators of the eponymous Supper Club. As they say in the novel: “We wanted to expand and to be nourished—we wanted to know how that felt. To be full up, instead of hungry and wanting, all the time.” Part of the ethos of the club is intentional weight gain—the women want to become “living art projects” by growing their bodies, in turn rejecting societal pressure to diet in order to stay thin. Throughout the novel’s dual-timeline structure, we follow Roberta at university, a formative period in her life in which she deals with sexual violence and body image issues, and Roberta in her late twenties, when she confronts these issues through forming Supper Club. 

Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder (Penguin Random House)

Roberta’s struggles with her relationship with food, and her periods of dieting and intentional weight loss, mirror that of countless women—society has taught her, and us, to suppress our hunger. For readers to see her unlearn these behaviours, then, and embrace her voracious hunger alongside other women, is a step towards societal change. 

The following novels are a few further examples of this literary trend: Chelsea G Summers’ novel A Certain Hunger (2020), which follows a successful food critic who enjoys slaughtering men and eating their body parts; Milk Fed (2021) by Melissa Broder, which centres around Rachel, a 24-year-old obsessed with calorie restriction, and her developing relationship with Miriam, who works at her local frozen yoghurt shop and is intent on feeding Rachel; Nightbitch (2021), by Rachel Yoder, which follows a stay-at-home mother who begins to transform into a canine, with a ravenous hunger for raw red meat; and Woman, Eating (2022) by Claire Kohda, a novel about a young vampire who is desperately hungry for a wide array of foods—ramen, ice cream, sashimi—despite the fact that her body can only digest blood. 

This literary trend, which seems to have peaked within the last couple of years, can be seen as a form of activism; these depictions of women fulfilling their hunger without shame are a rebellion against societal norms. Gone are the days in which women’s hunger served solely as a metaphor for their sexual appetite. Portraying women who satisfy their appetites in literature is so important, because fiction has the power to impact social structures in the real world. On this topic, Amy L Tigner and Allison Carruth write: “literary texts do not just transmit or depict food cultures and food practices: they also help to structure them.” Changing the way women in novels understand and respond to their hunger can change the way women in the real world understand and respond to their hunger. By depicting women who indulge their appetite, instead of repressing it, we encourage a world in which this is the truth—a world in which women are not asked to diet, to ‘watch their weight’, or to ignore their hungers and desires. Through contemporary fiction and social media alike, we are witnessing the rise of hungry women. 

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The Matildas’ Effect and The Rise of Women’s Sport in Australia

Growing up in a sport-loving household, sport was always on our TV. Regardless of the season or time of year, we were always consuming sport-related media. I remember being aware that most of the sport we watched was focused on male athletes or men’s sporting teams, but I didn’t fully realise the gender inequality of the Australian sports media landscape until years later. Women in sport have been underrepresented in Australian media for decades. Despite the international success of Australian women’s sporting teams and female athletes, media coverage of sport has aimed its focus solely in the direction of male athletes and men’s sports teams. Studies have consistently shown that in Australia, female athletes and women’s sports have had minimal media coverage and recognition compared to male athletes and men’s sports (Litchfield, 2015).

With this in mind, what has unfolded over the past month for women’s sport in Australia becomes even more extraordinary. Australia has been captivated by the nation’s women’s football team, the Commonwealth Bank Matildas, and their rise through the FIFA Women’s World Cup, which was co-hosted by Australia and New Zealand. In a few short weeks, the Matildas were able to capture the attention (and hearts) of the nation as they moved through the competition with inspiring individual and team accomplishments. Such accomplishments included winning early games despite the absence—due to injury—of their team captain, Sam Kerr. The Matildas ended up winning their way through to a semi-final by penalty shoot-out. This marked the best result (to date) by an Australian women’s or men’s team at a World Cup. Beyond the on-field feats, the more astounding story seemed to be unfolding off-field. As the nation got behind this (women’s) sporting team, TV records were shattered, games were sold out, and stadiums were overflowing with supporters around the country. As well as this, the Matildas have demonstrated the marketability of women’s sport; the Matildas sold more jerseys before the Women’s World Cup even began than the Socceroos did during and since the Men’s World Cup in Qatar last year. 

Historically, women’s sport in Australia has received far from equal representation in the media, with men’s sport spread across newspapers and permanently featured in primetime TV slots. However, this has been flipped on its head in the past month—the Matildas have been smashing TV ratings and records during the FIFA Women’s World Cup, surpassing both the AFL Grand Final and State of Origin. The Matildas’ Women’s World Cup semi-final match against England made history by becoming the most-watched TV program since the current audience measurement system ‘OzTAM’ launched in 2001. The Matildas’ clash with England attracted a national average audience of 7.13 million viewers, with Seven West Media announcing that the Matildas’ semi-final match had smashed the record for the most streamed event ever in Australia. 

The Matildas may have finished the tournament without a medal—but what they have accomplished in the past month for women’s sport in Australia is greater than could have ever been expected. The amount of support coming from all across the nation is not something that could have been predicted prior to the tournament commencing. Regardless of gender or age, people were supporting the ‘Tillies’ and actively embracing women’s sport—something not seen in Australia to this degree ever before. Again and again, journalists and media personalities covering the FIFA Women’s World Cup described what was unfolding surrounding the Matildas as ‘generational’; what was happening was going to be transformative and bring about ‘generational change’ for women’s sport in Australia. Children over the last month have seen women’s sport all over the TV. They’ve heard people discussing the Matildas: at home and in school; on public transport; in shops. Conversations surrounding women in sport are going to be more common for them now, which in itself is evidence of a generational change currently underway—a wider cultural change miles away from the misogynistic and sexist attitudes that were, for a long time, the norm for female athletes in Australia.

Now that the FIFA Women’s World Cup has drawn to a close, what do we need to do?

We need to continue championing women’s sport; watching it, supporting it, talking about it. With the Women’s A-League and AFLW competitions starting up in the coming months, we need to take this momentum set in motion by the Matildas and apply it to all women’s sport such as our domestic leagues including the Women’s A-League, AFLW, NRLW, WBBL, and Suncorp Super Netball. Since the completion of the FIFA Women’s World Cup, the AFLW have announced plans to increase prize money so that it is equal to the men’s competition. This announcement was met with criticism from some, claiming that the AFLW were only making the announcement now to capitalise off the momentum created by the Matildas. Are the AFL (and other sporting organisations) piggybacking off the success of the Matildas? Probably. Does it matter? Not at all—this is what change looks like. 

When it comes to women’s sport, it doesn’t have to be a competition between organisations. There are many examples of women’s sporting teams and female athletes supporting each other for the betterment and growth of women’s sport in Australia as a whole. One such example is that of the Matildas during the FIFA Women’s World Cup; they took the time to put out a video message on their social media for the Australian Diamonds Netball team, wishing them luck before their own World Cup final. Organisations that decide to better fund their women’s sporting programs after witnessing the success of the Matildas should not be torn down for choosing now as the time to do it—ultimately, it is going to lead to better opportunities and remuneration for female athletes as a whole. 

Female athletes have spoken out, calling for more government funding into women’s sport, to improve facilities and help grow participation. Prime Minister Anthony Albanese responded in the days following the completion of the FIFA Women’s World Cup, announcing the allocation of $200 million in funding for women’s sport in Australia. “The Women’s World Cup has changed sport in Australia forever and it’s also helped to change the country forever,” Albanese said. “This program that we’re announcing today will ensure that not only can young girls growing up see it, they can be it.” With greater visibility and increased exposure to women’s sport, continued growth will follow, improving future opportunities for female athletes.

It’s clear to see that, following the recent success of the Matildas, we are in such an exciting time for women’s sport in Australia. The Matildas have shown that it is not the same country it was in the past—the nation is ready to get behind women’s sport and support female athletes in the same way that they have been supporting men. It’s important that we don’t let the past month and what the Matildas have achieved be the end of this inspirational chapter. Instead, it should act as a starting point for what is to come. 

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The Narrowing Gulf Between Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminism and Neo-Nazi Behaviour

CW: This article talks about transphobia, fascist/Nazi behaviour and discusses mental health and suicide. Readers are advised.

Gender critical theory, traditionally, refers to those who argue that sex is “real, important and immutable” and that it should not be conflated with gender identity. Gender critical feminists believe that feminism should be organised on the basis of sex rather than gender identity/expression. This manifests in a multitude of ways: transwomen are excluded from women only spaces; legal recognition and medical treatment for trans people are opposed; and gender identity and expression are trivialised. The term ‘gender critical feminism’ was coined by the trans-exclusionary radical feminist (TERF) community in an effort to neutralise the description that ‘trans-exclusionary’ denotes.

In light of the recent anti-transgender ‘Let Women Speak’ protests led by infamous UK TERF Kellie-Jay Keen-Minshull (also known as Posie Parker), the motivations surrounding gender critical feminist debate have been put under consideration. In Melbourne on the 18th March 2023, disturbing scenes arose of neo-Nazis joining in on the ‘gender critical’ protest led by Keen-Minshull wherein chants of “white power” and Nazi salutes were abundant. Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews condemned the behaviour, but all too late as anti-trans rhetoric was livestreamed from several accounts online. Even I was subjected to this on a TikTok live with no warning and in an extremely triggering fashion. As both a trans individual and someone with Jewish heritage, this was incredibly upsetting to see happen so close to home.  

While Keen-Minshull denied that the neo-Nazi group was a part of the ‘Let Women Speak’ rally, it was still apparent that they shared a similar ideology in terms of gender politics. This begs the question: when your political and feminist ideologies line up in a way that appeals to fascists, to what extent can you truly call yourself a feminist?

By extension, it has been found that after the rally held in New Zealand, online hate towards the transgender community has spiked significantly, and is bordering on genocidal levels. With this snowball effect of discrimination leading to violent acts rippling through trans communities worldwide, a central question comes to mind: when your supposed ‘activism’ impedes on the rights and safeties of other minority groups, can this truly be called activist behaviour? A 2021 National Community Survey on the Health and Well-being of Transgender Australians found that 73 per cent of participants had been diagnosed with depression and 67 per cent were diagnosed with anxiety. Further, 43 per cent had attempted suicide with a 63 per cent self-harm rate. This does not include trans individuals who have lost their lives, simply for trying to navigate a world that hinders trans excellence. 

Not only is this having an effect on the trans community as a whole, but Keen-Minshull’s campaign has taken root in Australian politics. With Liberal MP Moira Deeming showing support by assisting in the organisation for the anti-trans rights protest that took place in Melbourne, there has been an internal battle and division within the Liberal Party regarding what it stands for. Victorian Liberal leader John Pesutto has, as a result, called for Deeming to be expelled from the party for “organising, promoting and attending” the rally, mostly due to the involvement of the far-right on the day. As of 27th March, Deeming has been expelled from the Liberal Party for nine months, which has caused further division within the Party. 

Of course, much of the rhetoric surrounding the TERF protestors has encompassed ideas of trans hysteria, to which I morally object. When a purported ‘freedom of speech’ movement impedes on your rights to exist safely and comfortably, and be included in spaces, I feel that this is well and truly hate speech. Of course we’re angry, of course we’re ‘hysterical’. When it’s a matter of life and death, you would be hysterical too. While I am not condemning the use of freedom of speech, I feel that it has been grossly appropriated to be a vehicle of hate and discrimination, which there is legislation criminalising.

The Hobart ‘Let Women Speak’ rally was vastly outnumbered by the counter-protest organised by trans individuals and allies. I was unable to go to the Hobart counter-protest myself, and I admire trans individuals who had the mental strength to do so, but the images of a strong trans and trans ally presence filled me with trans joy. I felt pride in my community and a sense of hope for our survival. Whether you like it or not, the future is trans. 

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Why is it Up to Women to Solve the Climate Crisis?

Creative interpretation (by Esther Touber) of 'At the Well' by Ivan Bilibin, 1901

More and more, I am noticing how much the burden of being environmentally conscious falls on the shoulders of women, and how much of an impact this has on our daily lives. 

Most of the eco-friendly swaps promoted as being easy and accessible are swaps that occur in the home: recycling, composting, alternatives for plastic wrap, ethical and sustainable cleaning and household products; the list goes on and on. Where things are concerned with domestic labour, of course, they usually become the jobs of women; women still bear a disproportionate amount of the domestic load. The Australian Institute of Family Studies reported in 2020 that, of couples surveyed, 42 per cent said that women always or usually did household tasks, compared to 10 per cent saying that men always or usually did household tasks. Similarly, the Australians Bureau of Statistics reported in 2021 that 62 per cent of women spent at least five hours per week on unpaid housework, compared to 35 per cent of men. If being eco-friendly occurs in the home, statistics show that it is most likely women who are doing it. 

I am not alone in noticing a gap in the way men and women are expected to handle the climate crisis; a study undertaken by British market research company Mintel in 2018 found that 71 per cent of women are making conscious steps towards more ethical living, as opposed to just 59 per cent of men. Women were also more committed to recycling, turning down/off the heating when not in use, water conservation and composting. Mintel termed this phenomenon the “eco gender gap.” It has been proven that, statistically speaking, men care less about the environment than women. Is this because so much of environmental messaging is geared towards women?

Fashion is another area in which we see women being expected to make environmentally conscious decisions, and shamed if they don’t. I have found myself guilty of this in the past; on finding out that a friend’s cute outfit was from H&M or Shein, I have instantly filed that information away, judging that person for their apparent lack of concern for the environment. 

Why have I never asked men the same question? 

A man is praised for simply being able to dress himself half-decently; he will never be quizzed on the sustainability or ethicality of his clothing. Of course, this is not to justify the excessive consumption of fast fashion we see today—indeed, it is an evil industry that contributes to pollution, waste, poverty, human rights abuses and more. I am only asking, why are men not held to the same standard as women?

Moreover, sustainable clothing choices are almost always more expensive, meaning they are inaccessible to a large portion of the population. A reliance on sustainable clothing perpetuates the shaming of lower socio-economic people. There is op shopping, of course, but this is often difficult for time-poor people—we have already seen that a disproportionate amount of women’s time is taken up by domestic labour. Many are simply unable to scour second hand shops for clothing appropriate for their workplace/lifestyle. 

In our fight against the destructive fast fashion industry, we must be wary of these factors.

These examples are just a few of the countless ways in which women’s decisions are interrogated and shamed. We have been raised to feel as if our actions are constantly being scrutinised and questioned, which has led to our internalisation of these watchful eyes. A simple trip to the supermarket becomes an endless exercise in: am I doing enough for the planet? How much single-use plastic am I buying? Is my makeup in recyclable or reusable containers? Where does my produce come from? How can I buy sustainably without breaking the bank? 

Environmentally friendly behaviours also often take up a lot of time: hand washing my period undies in the sink, or boiling and cleaning my reusable menstrual cup; reading the backs of cleaning products in the supermarket to see which are utilising scarily convincing greenwashing tactics, and which are actually better for the planet; cooking meals ahead to avoid buying plastic-packaged lunches; researching and finding reef-safe sunscreen. 

These behaviours take time—time which men (who are not placed under such intense scrutiny) are free to use at their leisure. 

This eco gender gap calls to mind the dominant image of women as carers and nurturers, even of the planet. In western conceptions of the world—so much of which are built on binary conceptions such as men over women, culture over nature—both women and nature are placed as inferior to men. Connections are then drawn between women and nature; think of the common idea of “mother nature,” a caring and motherly figure who encompasses the planet and its inhabitants. As ecofeminist philosopher Val Plumwood writes, “women’s inclusion in the sphere of nature has been a major tool in their oppression.” This oppression extends to unequally gendered expectations around climate change activism. If nature is a woman, it is no surprise that other women are called upon to care for her. When a woman cares for her child, she is doing what is expected of her. When a man cares for his child, he is praised and admired for being such a hands-on dad. Society has never expected men to be nurturing, so it is no surprise that they are not expected to care for the environment. 

Men make up over half of the entire population. We are all facing this climate crisis. When will they be held accountable?

References

“The eco gender gap: 71% of women try to live more ethically, compared to 59% of men.” Mintel, 27 July 2018, https://www.mintel.com/press-centre/the-eco-gender-gap-71-of-women-try-to-live-more-ethically-compared-to-59-of-men/. Accessed 23 March 2023. 

“Towards COVID normal: Sharing of housework in couple families.” Australian Institute of Family Studies, September 2021, https://aifs.gov.au/research/research-reports/towards-covid-normal-sharing-housework-couple-families. Accessed 22 March 2023. 

“Women spent more time than men on unpaid work in May.” Australian Bureau of Statistics, 16 June 2021, https://www.abs.gov.au/media-centre/media-releases/women-spent-more-time-men-unpaid-work-may. Accessed 22 March 2023.

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‘Hell is a Teenage Girl’: Why is it Easier to Idolise Someone Than to Accept That Maybe we Just Want to Kiss Them?

CW: Eating Disorders

Let me set the scene: I’m 10 years old growing up in a small town (like, think really, really small… then smaller) and am watching Jennifer’s Body with my older sister. At the time, this film was the talk of the town at my sister’s high school and all of her cooler, mature-er friends were permeating the air with the same question: “Have you seen Jennifer’s Body, yet?”

After realising that it, in fact, is not a porno, my sister decides hey, this is probably appropriate for a 10-year-old, right? I am immediately enthralled and captivated by Megan Fox – so much that I start saying what she says, take notes on how she dresses, how she wears her hair, that amazing heart-themed outfit and that hideous prom dress. When they mention that she takes laxatives, I start sourcing laxatives. So on and so forth. You get the picture.

I rewatch this movie until every cell in my body knows the lines by heart. It plays behind my eyelids when I drift off and I see Jennifer Check swimming across the lake, steaming and ready to seduce another teen boy into her death trap jaws. And through it all, I am wishing upon every star that someday, I can be just like her. Glowy and smiley and clever and confident. Magnetic.

At 22, I rewatch this film to reminisce on an old obsession and I realise something – I had a massive crush on Jennifer. Of course I did. I was absolutely obsessed with her. This was my Shego. My Barbie Mermaidia. I just didn’t know how to recognise it through my lens of internalised biphobia/homophobia.

And so, I started thinking – how many times in my young life have I accepted desire to be simply idolisation? How many girls did I plaster on my walls with the desperate hope to somehow morph into them through osmosis? I had them all watch over me as I slept, my beautiful and polished guardian angels, because it was easier than considering the possibility that maybe I actually just wanted to kiss them. I wanted to become them in the hopes that maybe one day I could understand them. In the hopes that maybe someone could want me the way that I secretly wanted them.

In the words of poet Blythe Baird:

“If I made them into my role model, there was no way they could be my crush.”

Blythe Baird, ‘How to Become a Disney Channel Original Star’

My lack of understanding and acceptance of my own sexual identity led to an unhealthy fixation on the identities of those I was attracted to. Unfortunately, this desire mistaken for idolisation easily slipped into unhealthy and damaging behaviours.

A review of current literature on eating disorders in the queer community (it should be noted that these studies were targeted at the LGBT population) shows that individuals who identify as queer are at higher risk of developing eating disorders or disordered eating behaviours than their heterosexual counterparts. Major risk factors that contributed to engaging in disordered eating behaviours included low sexual identity development and perceived stigma.

With a focus on individuals that identified as bisexual, the review found, “Antibisexual discrimination and internalized biphobia appeared to be associated with internalization of sociocultural standards of attractiveness, which increased body surveillance, sexual objectification, and body shame, which then predicted disordered eating behaviors among both men and women.”

Forced heteronormativity has made it seem more acceptable for a person (especially a young person) to obsess and mimic an individual of the same gender rather than desire them. Why do I feel more comfortable describing my girl-crushes as style inspirations? Why was I so outwardly proud of my folder of Dylan O’Brien GIFs, while hiding my Victoria Justice GIFs like some weird and freaky porn? Transforming this foreign desire into obsession and self-destructive behaviours just made more sense to me. I was googling Ariana Grande’s exercise routines, scrolling through ShopYourTV.com; thinking that if I dressed exactly like Spencer Hastings from Pretty Little Liars, I would finally be able to see her on my screen and not yearn for a single thing. I convinced myself that my obsession stemmed from a desire to become them rather than just a desire for them.

I’d like to make a note that this situation can often be reversed for those who identify as gender queer or experience gender dysphoria. I have spoken to friends who grew up thinking they had a crush on a person, only to realise later that this yearning was actually gender envy.

Of course, it’s instinctual to mirror those we are attracted to and want to be around. But it’s worth asking yourself the question: do I want to become them, or do I want to be with them?

References:

Parker, L.L., Harriger, J.A. Eating disorders and disordered eating behaviors in the LGBT population: a review of the literature. J Eat Disord 8, 51 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1186/s40337-020-00327-y

Baird, Blythe. Sweet, Young, & Worried. Button Poetry, 19 (2022).

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Take over the House

How can the women of this nation have confidence in the law

When the Attorney General, the highest representative of that law, 
Has been accused of transgressing it to such a high degree

With no repercussion, no retribution but that in the Fourth Estate
And a teary press conference about how hard this all is for him. 

When the leaders of our nation say that we have to listen to victims –
Victims like us, bright young women who are happy 

Until they meet a boy or a man just like Christian Porter.
You can imagine us as your daughter, your sister, your mother 

Whatever you need to do to get some basic human empathy –
But in the next breath say that this is a matter for the legal system  

They are saying that they know that the judicial system 
Favours the rights of the perpetrator over the victim 

And that this case will likely be one of the nine in ten 
Of sexual assaults cases reported that do not result in conviction

But that this is a fact that they’re willing to accept that
To protect their mates that they first met in law school 

Who now sit beside them in the Cabinet Room, making the decisions 
About all laws, including the rules of evidence and criminality that says 

When a woman has accused a man of rape and has died, 
Taken her own life because of whatever trauma she faced,

There can be no trial by law, no evidence on which to convict – 
And even if there had been a trial, no guaranteed verdict in her favour.

In fact, after years of dragging herself through the justice system 
Through the questions of are you making this up, are you looking for attention 

What were you wearing that night, did you ask him to walk you home,
Compounding the trauma which she had already faced,

In this last resort in which she had to deal with that trauma, 
She still only had a ten percent chance of getting him convicted.

But please, do not misunderstand me 
Christian Porter remaining Attorney General does not break my confidence 

In how women are treated in our justice system, in our society –
For that had already been broken long ago –

Instead he stands as a representative, no one more proper, 
Of the broken legal system in which women fear for their lives 

Looking over their shoulder at their boss, classmates, friends, partners.
Adding their elected representatives to the list of men to be fearful of and to fight

Is just another thing that we will do, until we take over the House.